10 Self-Care Hacks For New Moms
So here’s the deal. … Every mama wants to know how to make the most of her time especially if you’re a new mom. Seriously, I feel like I could never get my time right. If I’m honest, those first three weeks of motherhood were rough. I practically cried myself to sleep (if I had could get any…. hehehehehe) 3 nights straight because I was sooooo freaking sleep deprived. BUT now, here I am living my BEST life as a mother of an 11 month old. And, YES! I still want my healthy baby twins. I’m claiming it and speaking it into existence. Don’t mind me.
It took me awhile to find my peace as a wife, business owner, mom and just simply Jessica. When I reached eight months postpartum I realized life wouldn’t get easier if I didn’t figure this self-care stuff out. So I took a pause from everything I was doing to rest my mind and figure out how to be a healthy, balanced mom.
Understand how time operates. Time really is a currency. What are you exchanging your time for? I exchange mine for peace, purpose, and prosperity. I’ll elaborate on that in future posts. But, YES! Time is valuable and how dare anyone miss out on themselves. You need to understand everything in front of you so you can better plan the time needed for yourself. You deserve every bit of your time. You owe it to yourself to make the most of it.
Find your sacred place. Your place where you talk to God and listen to him respond back. Your place where you have a two hour grocery trip because you use the time to clear your mind. Your place where you speak up and voice when you need self-care time. For me, the sacred place is the kitchen. Cooking is my place to relax my mind and fill my tank with peace so I can pour a whole lotta love into the meal I’m preparing. I pay close attention to the details of food preparation. When I cook, I slow down. I discovered how my time in the kitchen is extremely valuable. My kitchen is a place of therapy. It’s where Jedidiah dances while he’s in his activity center. It’s where he likes to crawl so he can explore the crumbs I dropped on the floor. He’s happy! And everyone’s happy when the baby’s happy. It’s the place where before and after dinner, hubby and I have our little chats. The kitchen is my healing place. It’s a place where I feel accomplished. It’s a place where I can rejuvenate. Every mom needs a place to rejuvenate. And every mom’s place of rejuvenation is unique. It’s a place I quickly learned I had to protect in order to have peace all over myself and my home.
Define your peace. We can all use a little peace. It’s needed. If you want peace of mind you need a mental and emotional balance and a calmness, free of worries, fears or stress. What get’s you to a state where your mind is quiet, and you experience a gentle sense of happiness and freedom? Some women smudge, some women light a joint, some women pray, some do yoga, some play music. My peace is me sitting on my barstool, writing down my thoughts while Jedi is at granny’s place. And if Jedi is at home with me then I play calm music to calm both our spirits. I let him crawl all around the house while I’m cooking in the kitchen because writing down your thoughts with an eleven month old can be difficult. .I have playlist curated to give a peaceful vibe. It never fails me. When you’re in the sacred place, you have to know how to get to your place of quietude. You go. You recharge your mind. You come back feeling revitalized.
Get organized. Organization is crucial to running an effective business. Your business is your home. If you want to run a business, become a stay at home mom and you’ll understand what I’m talking about. You need to become a professional manager over your time. Can we all agree that managing your time help keeps your house in order? I went to Wal-Mart and purchased a medium sized dry erase monthly calendar. I placed it front-center on our refrigerator. There’s no way we miss it because we love food. LOL! This calendar works wonders for my family! I’ve gotten so much time back because I pay close attention to how and where my time is spent. Our calendar also helps us be mindful of one another’s time. It also gives hubby and I more of “US” time. Which leads me to the next…..
Find 3-5 great sitters. Daycare is not for us at the moment. AND a phenomenal nanny costs a lot of money. In the beginning, I didn’t know how to ask for help. But now, I boldly ask for it. After one sitter cancelled on us a few times on days where hubby and I just wanted time for “US,” we decided to gather a tribe of sitters. These are people we trust and would never lose sleep when we leave Jedi in their hands. We understand their schedules and they understand ours. We text our monthly schedules to each of them at once and say “let us know what date your available to watch him!” Done. Easy peasy and now I have peace of mind and can get my me time in and alone time with my husband.
Make date-night a priority. Date night is important to hubby and I. After a few months of not going on a date, I told my husband, “We’re in trouble!” We can’t keep allowing our kid to keep us from “US” time. The fire has to keep burning so we had to get back to dating. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you stop dating even when you have kids.
Give yourself once or twice a month dates with your girls! Nowadays, I always make sure to plan dates with my #MOMMMYGANG so I can spend time with other women facing similar seasons. I also get a date in with my girlfriends who don’t have children. Those are some of the best nights. I ensure these dates are on the calendar so hubby knows it’s an “I’m out, don’t bother me type of night!”
More reading, less scrolling. I decided to utilize the screen time tracker on my phone. I recommend you use it. It will get you in check and definitely make you aware of how much time you’re wasting watching everyone’s-ness (what I like to call minding everybody’s business, but your own). When I saw 2 hours in one day, I thought about all the other things I could’ve done with those two hours. Two whole hours could be spent on your side gig, reading a book to help develop yourself or your business, pick up a new hobby. I got one even better for you…. give your child real face time instead of screen time. Our children discover screen time from us. I’m doing my best to be present and enjoy reading with Jedi instead of watching. Plus, I found that I became more focused when I stopped watching people and learning more about myself.
Get out of the house. I don’t understand how the sun could be shining outside and someone chooses to be in doors for days. Those who do this are usually battling something internally. It could be depression (postpartum depression is real) or something that keeps them from the outside world. It’s not healthy at all. I’m grateful to have a mother who encouraged daily walks or getting out of my house for a change of scenery. You have to move around, get those joints moving, and allow your little one to see beyond the four walls of your home. Studies show that being outside (not in your car) improves your mood. Spend at least 5-10 minutes outdoors. If you can do it without your phone, even better.
Create boundaries. You have to communicate and create boundaries for you friends and loved ones so they understand, when you’re in the sacred place, it’s your “DO NOT DISTURB” time. I had a friend call me while I was in a zone. I picked up, she wanted to come see the baby, but Jedi was with his granny. For a second, I was going to tell her to come over, but these days, it’s rare I get 6-7 hours of time to myself. When I get that much time, I use it wisely. Although it was hard to do this, I kindly declined my thought of having her over. It’s in our nature to try and be there for everyone. When you become a mom, you need to first, be there for yourself. When you show up for yourself and be kind to you, I believe there’s overflow. There’s an overflow of joy, love, good health, good finances, good conversations, good people. GOOD everything.
The best advice I can leave you from this post is when you find a way to operate from a position of peace, study how you got to that place. Nourish your place of peace and b kind to yourself. You’re a mom for crying out loud. I believe this list will help all mama’s out there. Who doesn’t need a little self-love and care? If this list served you, pass it along to another mama who you know can use it. These are just simple hacks I learned along the way. Now that I’ve shared these hacks, put it into practice and let me know how it helps.
#GirlItsOkay,
Jess